While watching TV, have you ever seen diplomats sitting in their official lounge and talking leisurely with their legs crossed. This seems entirely challenging for you, knowing that you might squeeze your balls in such a sitting position. Let’s not beat around the bush; below, we tackle the two most healthy questions ever asked!

EAQ 1: How can some guys sit with their legs together and not hurt their balls?

It’s all about positioning, man. You have to fiddle them into a safe, comfortable configuration subtly. Avoid tight jeans. It’s hard not to draw attention to necessary ball juggling if your pants are too tight.

If you have to sit in a tight squeeze, with your legs together, like on an airplane, you will try to quietly position your nuts as you sit down, without making too noticeable a production out of it. This usually involves a deft maneuver whereby you swing your scrotum forward and close your thighs behind them while you are bending to sit. This lands them on your lap when you’re seated, instead of pinched between your thighs, or worse—crushed beneath them!

So if you’ve managed to master the discreet scrotum swing over time, it is not immediately obvious what you’re doing. 

For older men, having a saggy, elongated old guy scrotum may have made the trick easier over the years, but it can also increase your nuts’ danger if you flub the maneuver. A long scrotum puts you at greater risk of sitting on your tender jewels! If the scrotum swing occasionally fails to work, you must scramble to arrange your junk before bringing your full weight down on your boys. In such an emergency, social etiquette goes out the window, and you make no pretense of being anything but a middle-aged dude manhandling his nuts out of danger.

This post honestly doesn’t want to offend the delicate sensibilities of anyone who prefers not to be reminded of the existence of his testicles— but safety first, y’know? Like all males, you must contend with the unfortunate fact that mother nature chose to place your vulnerable reproductive organs on the outside of your body.

When you find yourself in a situation where you must sit with your thighs together, remember to wear loose pants—and practice a maneuver to swing your nuts up, out of danger!

EAQ 2: Can guys sit on their balls or hurt them by crossing their legs?

Sitting directly on them is not very common, but it can happen.

They don’t end up under your butt but under one thigh or the other. The back of your thigh isn’t really solid enough to cause crushing pain. It is somewhat uncomfortable, but not enough to cause general pain. That said, other things — other somewhat painful things — can happen.

If your underwear is too loose, you can catch the edge of your scrotum under one thigh or the other. And while the scrotum itself is not bothered at all by the pressure, it only stretches so far. If you catch things under (say) your left thigh and then carelessly shift in your seat (to the right), that causes the skin making up the scrotum to stretch, and yes, that is quite painful.

Similarly, if your underwear or pants catches your boys up against one thigh or another, a variety of directions of natural shift can cause that scrotum stretch, or yes, painful pressure on the balls. Indeed, crossing your legs is more likely to cause this than sliding in your seat. 

Not super common; discussing the finer points of arranging your scrotum is not a dinner table conversation! (haha..!) All the above sorts of misadventure tend to be called “sitting on your balls,” as a sort of little euphemism. It doesn’t hide the general nature of the situation, but it quickly dispenses with the subject.

Next time you will be sitting, you will be more cautious with your pants’ size, the type of chair you will sit on and, of course, your posture.

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